Evan learned to walk two days after his birthday, much to the delight of all three sets of grandparents who had stayed on after his birthday to celebrate Thanksgiving with him. By that time, six days after his birthday, you’d have thought he’d been walking since the day he’d been born.
Thanksgiving had been a noisy, boisterous affair that, at JC’s insistence, had been held in their home with their families, as well Chris, Joey and Justin and all of their assorted family members. All told, when Lance had taken a moment to count the people milling about, there had been thirty bodies scattered around his living room.
If there were one thing he was thankful for on that day, it had been that his and JC’s mothers had been smart enough not to let JC loose in the kitchen. God only knew what they’d have been eating later that afternoon if they had.
He loved JC, heart, body and soul, but a cook he wasn’t, as Lance had learned more than once…the hard way.
It seemed to him that the four and a half weeks between Evan’s birthday and Christmas had been filled with nothing but noise. And love, he couldn’t forget the love. It amazed, and scared him, at times how incredibly blessed they were. Not that he and JC didn’t have issues, or arguments with each other and their families that were both petty and huge, because they did, but they were also incredibly surrounded by, and in, love. Neither of them ever took that love for granted, as they both knew how empty life could be when you did and then had to live without it.
Last Christmas Eve at this time, Lance had been lying in a cold empty bed alone. He’d had his son, but he’d been miles away from the man he loved. That night had been one of the loneliest Lance had ever spent, and he rubbed a hand over the ache that the thought of it, even now, brought to his heart.
His life was light years away from that now, shared completely with the love of his life, who was even now patiently waiting for him downstairs. Lance knew what he would find as he made his way down those stairs and into the room where JC waited, but it still took enough of his breath away to have him pausing at the threshold of the room.
JC had built a fire, and it flickered over his skin, adding a golden cast to it. As he moved into the room JC looked up, and
Lance knew he’d never seen anything more beautiful than the picture JC made lying in front of that fire, the lights of their tree reflected in his slate blue eyes.
It was two minutes before midnight on Christmas Eve, and they were alone, finally, completely alone. Lance wanted nothing more in the world than to lie on the carpet beside JC and lose himself in those eyes.
“Is he still sleeping?” JC asked softly as Lance eased down next to him.
Taking the glass of deep red wine that JC handed him, Lance nodded. “He’s down for the count. I don’t think we’ll be hearing a peep out of him until morning.” It occurred to him as he spoke that maybe he should feel a little guilty at the happiness that thought brought him, but he’d had so little time alone with JC lately that he couldn’t quite do it.
A clock deep within the house began to chime the hour and Lance looked up to find JC’s eyes on him.
“Merry Christmas,” he offered, tapping his glass lightly against his lover’s.
“Merry Christmas,” JC replied before taking a sip. His lips glistened in the firelight when he was done, and it was all Lance could do to tear his eyes from them.
Catching the look, as he lay back against the pillows he’d thrown on the floor, JC asked, “What are you thinking about?”
“You.” Stretching out beside him, Lance placed his wine glass on the hearth before reaching out to trail his fingers over JC’s face. “You’re beautiful.”
JC blushed; Lance could feel the warmth of it blooming under his fingers, and unable or unwilling to resist he leaned down to warm his lips with the heat from JC’s skin.
“I love you, Josh,” he breathed, his lips soft against JC’s cheek. “It gets bigger everyday, every time I look at you.”
He made his living through words, yet as JC looked up into Lance’s glistening eyes, he found himself struck mute by what he saw there. It humbled him, and had him reaching out to pull Lance in so that he could show him what he couldn’t find the words to say.
They’d kissed hundreds of times, yet as JC’s lips moved over Lance’s, heating them, it felt as if it were the first. There was no hurry as their tongues sought and found each other’s. They had nothing but time, a lifetime of it, and JC thought he could spend every second of it right here in front of the fire, lost in Lance’s kiss.
These moments, when there was no one or nothing but the two of them, were precious gifts, ones meant to savor. In the morning, JC and Lance would be all about their son; tonight these stolen moments of time belonged to them. They were both determined to not waste even one.
Strong hands traveled familiar paths over skin gilded and warmed by the fire. Limbs tangled, twined, held firm as desire raced sharp and sweet through them. It was as if the world came to a standstill and there was nothing but the two of them and the love they shared. Minutes went by and then an hour, but they knew nothing of time or its passing. There was only need, as irresistible and precious as the bond between them.
This night was for them, a chance to reaffirm their place in each other’s hearts and lives. These prized hours would carry them through days when they could share nothing more than an exhausted kiss as they fell into bed. The memory of this night would nourish them, keep them whole, and remind them that first and foremost they belonged to each other before anyone else.
The fire had burned to embers before they lay quiet, wrapped in each other’s arms, Lance’s head cradled against JC’s chest. Neither spoke, there was no need to; their connection went beyond words. They rested, content in the quiet of the night to be near each other.
Comfortable, and drowsy from both the wine and their lovemaking, JC began to drift between the worlds of sleep and wakefulness. The beat of his heart slowed beneath Lance’s ear, and he sighed happily when Lance twined their fingers together and brought them to JC’s chest.
“I love you, gorgeous,” he offered, his voice foggy with fatigue.
“I love you, too, baby.” Reaching up, Lance brushed his lips over the prickly skin of JC’s jaw. “Thank you for tonight.”
It took but a second for JC to maneuver so that they were lying facing each other. “You don’t have to thank me. I wanted this time alone with you, too.”
“I know.” Though lately sometimes it was hard to be sure. They were so busy with Evan and their day-to-day lives that sometimes Lance felt their relationship got lost in the shuffle. Being a parent was an incredible, rewarding thing, and he loved that JC had thrown himself into his role as Evan’s daddy wholeheartedly, but sometimes, just sometimes he wanted…needed…for JC to put that aside and make him the most important thing. That’s why tonight was so incredibly special to him.
JC had come up with the idea for the two of them to take a little daddy time, as he called it earlier in the day when they’d been making their plans for the evening. He’d let Lance take Evan up and settle him into bed when they’d come home a little after eleven, while he had set the fire, opened the wine and made them a spot here on the floor next to the tree.
Somehow, though Lance hadn’t been sure he would, JC had seen that Lance had needed this.
“I have something for you,” JC told him, breaking into the thoughts running through his head. “And since it’s now, officially, Christmas, I think you should open it.”
Lance watched as JC leaned back to retrieve a brightly wrapped box, one that he’d apparently hidden while Lance had been upstairs, from behind a pile of pillows.
“We’re not supposed to open our presents until morning,” Lance protested, though he took the offered gift.
“It’ll be hectic in the morning,” JC told him. “I want you to open it now.”
Lance shook the box, but it remained stubbornly silent. “What is it,” he asked.
“Why don’t you open it and find out.”
Scooting forward, his lips slightly pouted, Lance bent over the package and began to peel the paper off slowly.
“At this rate,” JC admonished, “It’ll be next Christmas before you see what’s in there.”
“Hey, you open presents your way, I open them mine,” Lance shot back, though he did pick up the speed a bit.
A plain white box greeted him when he pulled the wrapping away, giving him no clue as to what might be waiting for him beneath its snowy cover. He shook the box again, ignoring JC’s groan as he did, and then carefully lifted the lid. Cheerful red tissue paper rustled as he pushed it aside to find not a shirt as he’d suspected, but a large glossy photo of a gorgeous log cabin inside.
“Uhm Jace, what…”
“Keep looking,” JC advised patiently. “You’ll figure it out.”
Doing as he was told, Lance shifted the picture aside to find two long envelopes hidden beneath it. Removing one from the box, he flipped it open, his eyes snapping to JC’s when he saw what was inside.
“A plane ticket?” He asked, now even more confused than he’d been moments before.
“Two plane tickets,” JC corrected before running out of patience and taking the box from Lance. With much less care than his lover had shown, he began to take other papers out. “Rental car agreement, lift tickets, an appointment at the spa for a massage…”
“Whoa, baby, slow down. I think I get it now, it’s a vacation, right?”
“Yes, it’s a vacation. I thought that we could use a little down time, and since we always go somewhere tropical, I wanted to do something different this time. This house,” JC pulled the picture out from under the pile of papers now littering the floor. “Is where we’ll be staying, I rented it for ten days. It’s in that town just outside of Denver that we drove through the last time we did a show there, remember?”
“I remember,” Lance answered, thinking back to that day. He’d loved the look of the sleepy little town, and had wished out loud that they could one day go back there. He couldn’t quite believe that after all this time JC had remembered. “Wow, Jace this is great. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” JC smiled happily at him.
“We’ll have to get Ev a snowsuit cause you know he’s going to want to be outside playing in the snow as much as possible,” Lance mused as he began to pile everything back into the box.
“Um, Lance.” Crystal green eyes strayed from their task, to find a bemused pair of steel blue orbs on him. “Ev’s not going…this vacation is just for us.”
JC could see the words register as first surprise then joy shot through Lance’s features. What he couldn’t understand was why those emotions were quickly followed by something that looked like guilt.
“What’s the matter, do you want
Evan to go with us, because if you do, we can…”
“NO!” The word came out a tad more forcefully than Lance had intended and he dropped his eyes to the floor, his cheeks flushed.
“Gorgeous, look at me. What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“It’s…just…I love Evan, you know that. He’s my son, but sometimes it seems like we…”
“Never get anytime alone,” JC finished for him. He knew, by the surprised look that Lance shot him, that his partner hadn’t thought he’d noticed, or that he had but didn’t think it a big deal. “You don’t think I see that, do you?”
“Well…uhm, no. I mean yes…I...” At JC’s bland expression Lance sighed. “Yeah okay, sometimes I wonder. I guess. I mean I know that you love me.” He hurried to explain. “And I know that you really needed this time to bond with Ev or whatever, but sometimes I just…” He hung his head again, so that the words came out muffled against his chest. “Sometimes I want you all to myself. Selfish, I know, but…”
“Baby.” JC moved closer so they were facing one another. “It’s not selfish, it’s normal. And maybe it took me a little longer to notice, because I was all into becoming Evan’s dad, but I see that we need time alone, too. It’s good for us to recharge and it’s good for Evan. That’s why this vacation is just for us. Ten days when we can just be JC and Lance, the couple, and not JC and Lance, dads.”
Lance looked at the box resting in his lap and then at JC. “I can’t believe you did this for me.” Especially when he’d been feeling somewhat resentful lately thinking JC wasn’t noticing this need for one on one time building within him.
“I did this for us.” Leaning in JC placed a soft kiss on his partner’s parted lips. “I want this time with you, more than you know.”
“Thank you,” Lance whispered, hugging him close.
“You’re welcome,” JC’s breath brushed over his ear. “And you don’t have to worry about Evan either, my folks are going to keep him at their house the whole time we’re gone. Tyler and Heather will be home, so he’ll have lots of attention and probably be spoiled to death when we get back.”
Lance chuckled. “You know it.” A moment of peaceful silence passed between them.
“Now what’s going through that head of yours?” Lance asked, catching JC’s thoughtful expression.
“That I love you, and that sometimes I could be better at showing it.”
“You’re great at it, Jace. Really,” Lance quickly reassured him.
“Sometimes, but not always. It’s harder than I thought it’d be juggling being a dad and a partner.”
Lance was nodding in agreement before JC finished speaking. “For me, too.”
“I think you’re a little better at it than I am, though.” JC chuckled. “Which, if you think about it is weird, as you used to suck at that kind of stuff.”
Lance’s immediate sobering wiped the smile off of JC’s face.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” he stammered, cursing himself for spoiling what had been a perfect evening.
“You didn’t, Josh, honestly. It just kind of occurred to me that you were right. I did suck at stuff like that before.” And it had made him sad to think about all of the time he’d wasted. Who knew where they’d be now, if he hadn’t.
“Hey.” With great care, JC took Lance’s face between his hands. “Stop.” He knew exactly what Lance was doing, he’d done the same a million times himself. “Don’t go back there. Please,” he whispered, leaning in to rest his forehead against Lance’s. “It was stupid thing for me to try and joke about. I’m sorry.”
Sighing, Lance lowered his head to JC’s shoulder. “Tell me more about the trip. What’s the house like?”
As JC began, first quietly, and then with building excitement to tell him about the place he’d rented for them, Lance felt the gloom surrounding him lift. Content once again he turned so that he was lying across JC’s chest, enjoying the way it vibrated under his cheek. He snuggled in, smiling as JC continued his description of the cabin.
Catching the smile, JC kept talking, filling Lance in on the perks of the house. “There’s a fireplace in the living room and in the master bedroom, a huge Jacuzzi tub in the master bath and a hot tub on the deck. It’s only five minutes from the slopes.”
For the first time since JC began speaking Lance interrupted. “You do remember that neither of us ski right?”“Duh.” JC thumped Lance lightly on the shoulder. “I thought we’d try our luck at snowboarding again. We had a lot of fun doing that when we did that Snowed In thing, remember?”
“I remember the bruises I had on my butt,” Lance answered. “But it was kind of fun, so it might be cool trying it again. We’re going to have to go on a shopping spree though, cause I need some cold weather gear.”
“Uhm…well, I kind of, ya know, got you some stuff.”
“Oh, okay. Cool, I guess. What’d you get, like ski pants and stuff?”
“Well, no. Not exactly.”
“Boots? A coat?”
“Ah…no.”
“Well what the hell did you buy me then, Jace?”
“Sweaters.”
“Sweaters?”
“Yup.”
“Sweaters…nothing else, just sweaters?”
“Uh huh.”
“You’re a sad little man, you know that right?”
“Hey,” JC protested. “You look hot in sweaters, and you know I love it when you wear them, which you never do.”
“Hey babe, in case you didn’t notice, we live in Florida, which is not exactly the sweater capital of the world.”
“Still, you could wear them every once in a while. It wouldn’t kill you.”
“If it were ninety it would.”
“It’s not ninety now. It barely got up to seventy today. Today was a perfect day for sweaters. I wore one, didn’t I? But did you….nooooo. You had to wear some short sleeved…mphmmm.”
The last part of JC’s tirade was lost as Lance planted his hand firmly over his mouth.
“If I promise to wear a sweater everyday while we’re on vacation will you shut up?”
“Mph.” JC said, then nodded. “You’re mean.” He pouted when Lance took his hand away.
“Hey, I did it in self-defense.” When JC looked at him in confusion, he explained. “You were about to ramble me to death.”
JC stuck his tongue out at him.
“Don’t stick it out if you’re not planning on using it.” Lance countered in amusement.
JC abruptly sat up, knocking Lance to the floor as he did. “Fat chance of that happening now.”
“Oh it’ll happen,” Lance told him smugly. “All I have to do is put on one of those sweaters and I’ll have you eating out of the palm of my hand.”
“Hmph.” JC presented him with his back. “I’m not that easy.”
Lance admired the view for a moment before inching forward and running a finger down JC’s spine. “Yes, you are,” he countered as JC shivered under his touch.
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. You’re crazy about me.” Sidling closer, Lance replaced his finger with his lips. When he reached JC’s neck he leaned in close. “I love you, Josh.”
JC struggled not to respond, but both his body and heart betrayed him. Giving up the fight, he leaned into Lance’s touch. “I love you, too.”
He turned his head and their lips met in the sweetest of kisses.
“Merry Christmas, Josh,” Lance whispered, his lips brushing JC’s again as he did.
“Merry Christmas, Lance.”
“Thank you, again, for the trip. It’s an incredible present.”
“Even with all the sweaters?”
“Even with…” Lance stopped. “Uhm Jace, wait a second. Just how many sweaters are we talking here?”